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World’s smallest violin
So, I'm losing my job in two months. I'm trying to come to terms with that. Trying not to obsess about the poor economy, the lack of jobs in my little town, any of the usual paranoia that comes with unemployment.
I have learned one thing, though. I really hate sympathy. I'm so tired of people telling me that they're so sorry that I'm losing my job. I don't want to hear one more person say that the county is really hurting itself by laying me off. I'm sick of people saying that its "unfair" or "wrong". And I am really, really sick of people complementing me on how "professionally" I'm handling all this.
I don't want to be professional. I don't want to be understood. I don't want people to be sorry. Because it's all a load of crap. It doesn't change anything. My ego doesn't need to be massaged with false praise. The county is going to be just fine without me. It may not have been what I wanted to hear but my union rep was right when she said that anyone in the union rank and file could do my job with a little training time. Don't get me wrong, I'm damn good at what I do, but the county can do just fine without me. Things can go back to the way they were two years ago and the world will go on. This is the county we're talking about. They don't have to worry about being better than anyone or competing with anyone else. Quality really doesn't factor into anything. Maybe the county will lose something when I'm gone, maybe I do contribute something that no one else can replicate, but bottom line is -- it doesn't matter.
I'm not sure what I want. My co-worker said that sympathy is better than being told that I shouldn't let the door hit me on the way out. Perhaps she's right. But I don't really see a difference. Sure the references will be nice, but I don't see any jobs out there that I'll need references for.
I don't want people to think I'm good or special or professional. I’m just doing my job. All that praise and sympathy would be nice, you know, if it mattered at all.
Enough with the pity party. My next post will be Supernatural Meta, I promise.
I have learned one thing, though. I really hate sympathy. I'm so tired of people telling me that they're so sorry that I'm losing my job. I don't want to hear one more person say that the county is really hurting itself by laying me off. I'm sick of people saying that its "unfair" or "wrong". And I am really, really sick of people complementing me on how "professionally" I'm handling all this.
I don't want to be professional. I don't want to be understood. I don't want people to be sorry. Because it's all a load of crap. It doesn't change anything. My ego doesn't need to be massaged with false praise. The county is going to be just fine without me. It may not have been what I wanted to hear but my union rep was right when she said that anyone in the union rank and file could do my job with a little training time. Don't get me wrong, I'm damn good at what I do, but the county can do just fine without me. Things can go back to the way they were two years ago and the world will go on. This is the county we're talking about. They don't have to worry about being better than anyone or competing with anyone else. Quality really doesn't factor into anything. Maybe the county will lose something when I'm gone, maybe I do contribute something that no one else can replicate, but bottom line is -- it doesn't matter.
I'm not sure what I want. My co-worker said that sympathy is better than being told that I shouldn't let the door hit me on the way out. Perhaps she's right. But I don't really see a difference. Sure the references will be nice, but I don't see any jobs out there that I'll need references for.
I don't want people to think I'm good or special or professional. I’m just doing my job. All that praise and sympathy would be nice, you know, if it mattered at all.
Enough with the pity party. My next post will be Supernatural Meta, I promise.