So many things wrong with this...

Reading the local paper today, I ran across Storage rentals become 'Santa closets' (the link is to a different paper, but the article is the same).

This is the first two paragraphs:

Missy Phillips knew she had a big problem on her hands when her boyfriend's 18-year-old son ransacked their house looking for the stash of unwrapped Christmas presents.

To keep the nosy teenager from finding the stereo, video games and hunting bow she and her boyfriend bought him, Phillips had to go out of the house _ and into a self-storage unit _ to hide the gifts until Christmas Eve.

Lets get this straight. This 18-year-old young man ransacked the house to see his gifts early, and this woman's response is to hide the gifts? Huh? I must have missed the memo that says that such behavior is acceptable and that is the responsibility of the gift-giver to make sure the surprise isn't spoiled.

I can understand this if the kid was 4 or 8 or 10 (maybe), but 18? I so don't think so. The fact that he went through my private areas in the house -- my bedroom, my closets -- looking for things I'm giving him because I love him would be intolerable. Hell, he'd be lucky if he got coal for Christmas, because I'd certainly be returning everything else.

If an 18-year-old can't be trusted on such a simple and elementary level of respecting privacy and controlling curiosity, what chance does he have out in the real world? Will he look through his co-worker's desks to find out what they get paid or what they are working on? Will he read break in and read the bosses emails because he wants to get a jump on the others in the office? Will he read his girlfriend's mail just to be sure she's behaving in the way he wants her to?

A friend sent us a box of gifts for Christmas. I was told that some are unwrapped, so the box is sitting, just as it is under the tree right now. I know that Myria won't open it. We went shopping and Myr bought me a gift. It was put in a brown paper bag and just folded over -- not taped or stapled in any way. I helped carry that bag from the store to the car to the house, and I know it's now just setting in her room waiting to be wrapped. Why would I disrespect her so much as to look at that before she is willing to give it to me? More importantly, why would she accept -- or worse, expect -- such disrespect from me?

I really hope that the family in this article is an aberration, because if such behavior is seen as the norm, we're really in trouble.

Jack Bauer's Lessons Learned

What I find most interesting about this list is that there are some very true, very real statements in among the expected joke-ones.


WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Jack Bauer
Counterterrorism Expert, Los Angeles



Fuck diplomacy.

Actions speak louder than words. Though shouting can also be effective.

If you shoot a man's wife in the knee and he still doesn't give you the information, he's bad.

Revenge is the cruelest trick. I've seen it taken out on others, I've been victim to it, I've even done it myself. But it doesn't change anything, and it doesn't bring comfort.

Trust is the key to survival. And by trust, I mean getting out of the way and letting me do what I need to do.

The only thing harder than racing to stop a madman from releasing a deadly virus that will kill thousands of people is doing it while simultaneously trying to kick heroin.

I've been beaten, kidnapped, gassed, and shot at, but the most terrifying thing I've ever been through was facing my daughter after I made her believe I was dead.

I eat a lot of bananas. They're a good source of vitamin B and potassium. They're also easy to take on the move.

Love is a privilege.

If you have to trust someone, make it a quirky computer genius.

If I say "dammit," either something bad just happened, something bad is about to happen, or I'm going to do something drastic.

Any man can make a mistake. It's what he does to remedy that mistake that shows his character.

You better know who you are before you go undercover. If you don't, you could easily lose yourself.

Always carry at least one spare fully charged cell-phone battery.

So many times when I thought there was no more time, there was.

When interrogating a suspect, I've often found it effective to ask the question loudly and repeat it several times.

Remember, terrorists use the phone as much as we do.

In the event of a highway landing, always fasten your seat belt and return your chair and tray table to their upright and locked positions.

It's all key cards and thumb drives these days.

If the president of the United States ever orders you to shoot your boss in the head at point-blank range in cold blood, take a deep breath, ask God to forgive you, and just do it.

Without conscience, a man becomes his worst enemy.

Sometimes it's necessary to create a believable diversion, even at the risk of others thinking you're an asshole.

A cell phone can sometimes be used to activate a secondary detonator on a terrorist's explosive vest regardless of how many minutes are left on your plan.

Dead terrorists can often be effectively used as human shields. So can live ones.

Bureaucrats want results but never want to get their hands dirty.

The safety of the people I love is worth any sacrifice. Even their trust.

Some people don't deserve to die, but that's not my call.

Serbs have a different word for everything.

If you don't have a Taser gun, the wires from a lamp will deliver the current needed to shock your subject just enough to get him to give up the information you need without doing any permanent damage.

Sometimes you have to do the wrong thing for the right reasons.

You can't save everyone.

If you see me running down the street, it's probably a good idea to take cover.

Don't piss off the Chinese.

From Esquire, by Nicole Ranadive (the staff writer of 24) and Matt Michnovetz (the show's story editor).