partly

"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some; it is in everyone. And, as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Marianne Williamson

I haven't been writing lately. While I think it would be conceited of me to say that it was because I feared being "too good", there is a confidence that is needed to say that the writing will be "good" or even "good enough". If I have faith that I am fabulous, well then even "good enough" is, well, fabulously good enough, right?

My grams, when I asked her how something was, used to always say that it "would have to do". I hated that because, to me, it would mean that it wasn't good, that it could be better and that we were just settling for "what would have to do."

I've come to realize that's not what she meant. She meant that I shouldn't strive for perfect, but that I should recognize the beauty in things that are shy of perfection, in things that just "have to do". That there are other things to do and I can't obsess over making something “perfect”. I'm struggling with the concept that there is no such thing as "perfect” -- especially in the eyes of a creator. There is always one more thing that could be improved, one more thing that could be tweaked. Perfection is an alluring -- and treacherous -- illusion. Perhaps even Michelangelo, when he stopped working on The David, thought "Well, he'll have to do".

If my writing is good -- if I believe my writing is good -- then I just have to go with it. If I believe that we are all "Children of God" -- that we all have a light and glory within us -- then is not my writing a way for that glory to be "made manifest". Should not everything I do have some of that “light and glory” that is within me (as I strive to believe it is)?

My faith should be that if I do my best, that glory will be there even if I can’t see it. I should trust that I have this talent and that I should not be afraid to show the “good works” that come from that talent.

Perhaps, when I write, I can say “it will have to do” and move on, trusting that “it will have to do fabulously.”