It's always half-full...

I was once described as being "aggressively optimistic". It seems an accurate description of me. I like to see the positive side of things. I enjoy the silver-lining and I will fight to find it.

Don't misunderstand this. I know that bad things happen in this world. I know this because they have happened to me. They have happened to people I know. People I love. The world can be a hard and cruel place. Wil suffers from depression, so I know well how dark the world can become. I don't pretend these things don't happen, I don't ignore the bad or the evil.

But I always come back to a quote by Victor Frankl, holocaust survivor: “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.”

My response is always, ALWAYS to try and surround myself with the positive. To fight until I can see some sign of good. Until I can BE some sign of good.

I don't succeed all the time. It's damn hard work to be positive in the morass that life can become. I'm easily influenced by the emotional context around me. I tend to self-doubt and self-recriminate. I am both stubborn and fearful. My fight/flight response is equally balanced and rarely makes my first reaction in any bad situation a good or positive one. I am very, very good at running through scenarios in my mind and thinking dark and dangerous thoughts.

But while I have no control over my initial reaction -- over my fear, over my inadequacies, over my overwhelming desire to just pretend that it didn't happen or to obliterate the problem utterly -- I have complete control over my response. As Victor Frankl says therein lies my growth and freedom.

So yes, I fight to be positive. I fight to do good. I volunteer with the youth of my community. I donate what I can to the local food pantry and HAVEN. I work for my Church. I praise good when I see it. I comment on it to those around me.

I fight to see the good. I am sure to note the number of good, hard-working teenagers I see at the store. I appreciate the neighbor who snowblows my front walk without being asked or being thanked. I admire the group of children who can play quietly (more or less) at a table while their parent waitresses a night shift and I greatly admire a business that allows them to do that.

I fight not to fall into the "It's all about me" mentality that seems to be all the rage these days. I try not to indulge in sarcasm or the belittling of those I disagree with or don't like. I remind myself that it's petty and often cruel to get pleasure out of the misfortunes of others.

It doesn't always work. A brief check of my journal will demonstrate that. But at the same time, I don't write done every slight or injury done to me. In two months -- hell, in two days -- I won't remember the small annoyances of the day, why should I record them here where they lurk waiting to reinfest my life at some point?

Which, in the end, probably makes me a lousy journalist. I know the thought is to write it down and get it out. Only I've always thought that written words were permanent and thoughts are fleeting. In my half-full world view, I'd rather let the bad thoughts flit right away. Of course, if I would take the time to mark down the good ones more often, life would be even better.

Meme Lemming: States I've Visited

visited 29 states (58%)
Create your own visited map of The United States

So that's more than half, number-wise. Not too bad. I really don't do the South or the East, oddly enough.

Writer's Block: The name game

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OH! I like this one. My Real Name (TM) is Rebecca Kludy. Once, a long time ago, I worked for a law firm and one of the associates took to calling me Partly -- as in "Partly Kludy". Way back when the internet was first invented (say the early 90s) I needed a screen and email name to use with AOL (king of the Internet at that time). I went with PartlyK.

I shortened it to Partly for most things (except email) after that, but I've been Partly or PartlyK in everything since that point. Surprisingly enough, not that many people use an adjective as a screen name and I can usually sign up any place as Partly. If that happens to be taken (and it's irritating when it is) I know I can get in as PartlyK.

I have a great deal of fun with it. So many plays on words are available to me. My favorite line is "I'm Partly everywhere on the internet". Which garners all sorts of great responses.

I also like it because it's difficult to do a hard-name search for me on the internet. Go ahead and try. Type in "Partly" and see if you can find out anything about me. *grin* PartlyK will actually give you a few things that I do. I suppose it could be a drawback, not being able to be found, but right now I'm not looking to be found, so I'll take it.

Quite a few years ago, I talked to someone at AOL about an issue with my account and he looked up my name and commented that I was "one of the originals" who signed on with AOL. I've had Partly as a handle for close to 20 years. That's actually longer than some on my flist have been alive.

I have no desire to change handles at this point. I can't think of anything that would fit me better.