partly

CBS Network
Round One Starts

Crossovers
Round One Starts

FOX Network
Round One









NBC Network
Round Two

Original Fiction
Round Two

Stargate
Round Two

Supernatural
Round One
     All Sad Words of Tongue or Pen John Winchester; Gen: PG

     Impossible John, Dean, Sam; Gen; PG
     Two, Positive. However, I lost them. *drat* I do know that one of them liked that I paired tension and sweetness. Only they phrased it better.

     Human Castiel; Gen; PG

     Hunter's Discount Dean; Outside POV; PG
     One, Negative.

Negative Reason: This story had several glaring errors in grammar and spelling. These errors made it difficult to read smoothly through the story. Also, the characterization was a little difficult for me to believe. I tried to picture Dean being mistaken for a game hunter, and I just couldn't do it. As many as I have seen, they don't wear leather (inclement weather is so common while hunting), camouflage is much more common. Game hunters are so often incredibly boisterous, and so very, very proud of their weapons. There are several other reasons that the connection between Dean and deer hunter just doesn't make sense to me. The imagery was very good though. I could really picture how cold the night was.

These stories have to be posted without a beta/editor and I usually don't get them done much before the deadline. I always have some errors without a beta. This is why everyone (but especially I) should have an editor.

As for the second part of the comment -- I understand where the comment comes from. I live in a world of hunters, from a family of hunters and they come in all shapes and sizes. My fear was that someone would point out that Dean didn't have a stitch of blaze orange on him... but the balze orange regulation is more of a mid-west thing. And really, Wisconsin is a different animal in most cases. Still, this comment is the reason I was afraid that this fic could have been voted off. That and the fact that most people on LJ don't have, ah, positive views of outdoorsmen. *shrug* It was the chance I took writing the way I did. If I would have had more words, I could have played with the concept. It may not have made a difference, though.

I was thrilled with the compliment, though. I like writing imagery and atmosphere and I'm glad that it came through. I'm sad that I had to cut as much of the imagery as I did to get the fic in the word limit. It was much colder and the hotel was much better defined in my first draft.

     Through the Night Dean; Gen: PG
     One, negative.

Negative Reason: I don't think the repeated "through the night" statement actually worked here. I think the author could have skipped all the preamble and expanded on the last bit and it would have been a stronger story. By the time I'd gotten to the last "through the night" it felt repetitive and took away from what would have been a strong finish.

I wasn't happy with this fic. I totally agree that the refrain didn't add to the fic. I took it off only to put it back several times. I didn't really like it, but I didn't come up with a different ending.

     If at First Dean; Gen; PG
     Four, negative. One, positive.

Negative Reason: I want to first say that with only five fics to choose between this was REALLY hard, and this is definitely not a bad fic! I chose this one because it struck me as the least creative take on the prompt, and there were a few lines that seemed kind of clunky:

When he and Sammy had first watched Ground Hog Day they'd spend hours fantasizing about how cool it would be to have the same day to live over and over again. No obligations, no rules, no consequences - what a load of crap. Movies never got it right.

and

Dean nodded and closed his eyes. Time travel may have been cool in fiction, but it sucked in real life.

I didn't actually like the last line. It could use something else. When I think of it, I'll change it.. But both of these lines were Dean's thoughts/feelings and those two places were really was the only times I put this type of exposition in, so it may have felt out of place and clunky in the fic.

***

Negative Reason: It was difficult to tell what was happening, even on the second read. The story told me Dean was reliving the same day over and over, but I'm still unsure what was happening during that day, or how Dean even figured out what was going on.

This is just a "if only I could have more words" issue. I cut the part that explained how Dean figured it out because there wasn't enough words and I wanted to have the story be about how it was John's concern for Dean that changed what happened. Not sure I pulled that off in 1000 words.

***

Negative Reason: I caught several errors of missing/wrong words. Also, for me, it lacked flow and clarity in a few places. I needed to re-read those areas to understand what the author meant

I hate working without a proof reader. I may have fixed the errors in this post, but you never know. I should get a beta for when I post it here, I guess. The lack of clarity, I can understand that. I shoved a lot of plot in these words, and I put a lot on the reader to fill in the missing parts.

***

Negative Reason: I liked this story, but all the stories were so strong and I had to pick one. This is the story I found least engaging of the group; it took an effort to get into it and to stay involved.

I'm not really sure this is a negative becaise my SPN fic is very different than a lot of SPN fic. I'm actually very happy I stayed in the LAS as long as I did.

***

Positive Reason: Gosh- this is getting hard! I chose this as the best because it's a complete story, well-thought out and written, the pacing is good, the characterization is good, and the writer made good word choices to show Dean's progression through the time loop. There's no convenient key to the puzzle given to him. He fought through it on his own.

I so glad I got this response because I'm glad to know that someone did get what I was trying to do. It was a tricky thing and I knew that when I wrote it. I'm happy with it, so that counts for something.

Syfy Network
Round Two

USA Network
Round One
     Good Enough Burn Notice; Team; Gen; PG
     Three, negative; Three, positive

Negative Reason: The use of the bomb is predicable for the challenge and the dialogue is stilted.

Yes and yes. The writing style for the fic did make it feel a bit stilted, I guess. I intentionally did short sentence to create tension, not sure it worked. I wanted the dialogue to be terse. Perhaps it was too much so.

***

Negative Reason: The countdown that's in between the paragraphs (in no particular set way) is distracting and takes me out of the story

I can see this. I did it to time out between the count. It should take about 2:48 to read the story. Perhaps a steadier count would be better, but my love of 24 really pushes the real time thing.

***

Negative Reason: The characterisation doesn't seem quite right.

I wish they would have said what wasn't right about the characterization because this doesn't help me. But since many of the other stories had Fi not knowing anything about explosives and had Sam be very immature, this may be a good thing for me.

***

Positive Reason: I loved the characterizations of everyone, and I could picture it happening in the show.

I love hearing this. I'm never sure if I capture the feel of the characters or not. It's good to have this comment to offset the other one. That way I can chose the one I like. *grin*

***

Positive Reason: Well written, pacing was outstanding, in character (Fi actually knows bombs, compared to the other stories)

Is it wrong for me to like comments that mirror my own thinking? Well, then I'll be wrong. *grin*

***

Positive Reason: It's a clichéd situation, yes, but the writing was good enough and the story original enough that I didn't care. And the romance at the end was nice, too. I'm not familiar with Burn Notice?, but it was a nice touch.

Part of the criteria in an LAS is how the prompt is used. I didn't do anything original with it, that's true. I was hoping the way I did it would help. I almost cut the ending because I didn't want it to be overly sappy. Heh. Romance usually works, though.

     Live by the Sword Burn Notice; Michael; Gen; PG
     Three, positive

Best Written Story Reason: I thought it was the most original interpretation of the prompt. Instead of having the lead being the source of the anger, the anger was directed at them.

I'm glad this worked. I may be a slow learner, but I came at this from a different angle intentionally. Twisting the prompt is fun. And never let it be said that I don't learn for a critique!

***

Best Written Story Reason: I liked the interpretation of the prompt, applying it to an original character instead of a main one, and it was well written. The author really conveyed the tension Michael was feeling.

It's hard for me to judge how well my intended emotions are being conveyed. I'm glad to see that tension came through. I thought I'd been a little circumspect in my writing of it.

***

Best Written Story Reason: Not only did I enjoy this story but I was fairly impressed by the dialogue (writing a Russian speaking English is difficult but this was believable).

Dialects and accents are very tricky to write. I'm thrilled this reviewer thought I did a good job.

Yay me! It is with no small amount of pride that I say this is one of my favorite fics, ever.

     It's a Man's World
     Two, positive. I only got a copy of one, though. C'est la vie!

Positive Reason: This was subtly funny and I liked the way the prompt was included. There were several little stories in here but they tied together well and I didn’t feel any of them were lacking.

I really tried to make it seem like it was all part of one story and I'm really glad it worked out that way. I'm also glad to know that they all stood on their own.

     Christmas Wishes
     Five, positive. Oh yeah. Feel the love.

Positive Reason: Excellent characterization of ALL the characters, convincing and charming storyline, and great use of the prompt leading to a believable conclusion that really works for Mozzie.

***

Positive Reason: Everyone's perfectly in character, Mozzie's paranoid wanting to stay away from people but secretly craving company is very believable, and the story gives me warm fuzzy feelings without being too sugary sweet.

***

Positive Reason: This was a funny and touching use of the prompt, with a great use of Christmas, family, and getting what you really needed, rather than what you thought you wanted.

***

Positive Reason: This was one of two stories that I thought did a superb job of staying within the character's voice throughout the whole piece and making the narrative distinctly the character's while clearly revealing the other characters personalities through dialogue and action. What gave this one the edge was that the beginning was just a little snappier, a little more in character from the get-go, and there was a complete story arc with an ending that heralded nicely back to the opening paragraph. It was really well done.

***

Positive Reason: I really like the juxtaposition of Mozzie not getting what he thought he wanted, but deciding what he had was actually better.