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Self-Esteem and Writing...
Mar. 8th, 2008 11:35 pmI am reading through a book on writing that I recently picked up. (“Book in a Month”, by Victoria Lynn Schmidt.) She lists five secrets for completing a book in a month and number four is "Self-Esteem".
She writes: Never guilt or shame yourself into writing, or put yourself down too harshly for not writing. Guilt and shame never helped anyone’s self-esteem, and self-esteem is what you need to complete a book in a month.
Self-esteem allows you to commit to your goals, and it allows you to take time for what is important to you. Self-esteem means you can say to yourself, “I matter, and so do my goals.”
She then lists 19 statements that have to deal with writer's Self-esteem. She says if you check more than two of the statements, your writing self-esteem could use a boost.
Here's the list, and I'm going to do three different things:Strikeout those that definitely don't apply, bold those that definitely do and italicize those that I feel the need to clarify before I can give an answer. (As Myria has often said, I need to stop arguing with books). To save the flist, I'm putting my explanations behind lj-cuts.
So that's only one definite "yes", but two qualified "yeses" and three "I need to think about it's". The book doesn't really give any good advice for solving the problem, outside of "think of successes" and "only get positive feedback". I'm not sure that is exactly my problem, though. I think a lack of time management skills, problematic prioritizing and bad procrastinating habits are my problem. The book doesn't give me any helpful advice on those problems, either.
Conclusion: I need to think about this more. Not much of a conclusion, really. Perhaps I should think of it as a writing goal, only I think I've concluded that I'm not very good at that.
She writes: Never guilt or shame yourself into writing, or put yourself down too harshly for not writing. Guilt and shame never helped anyone’s self-esteem, and self-esteem is what you need to complete a book in a month.
Self-esteem allows you to commit to your goals, and it allows you to take time for what is important to you. Self-esteem means you can say to yourself, “I matter, and so do my goals.”
She then lists 19 statements that have to deal with writer's Self-esteem. She says if you check more than two of the statements, your writing self-esteem could use a boost.
Here's the list, and I'm going to do three different things:
I blame someone or something for not being able to write.( No – or rather, )I constantly blame myself for not writing enough, even if it's not my fault.( Blame is not a word I would use )- Instead of finding time to write, I do what others want even when I don't want to. ( It's not that clear cut of a choice, most times. )
- I don't express myself enough in my writing to avoid upsetting, hurting, angering or offending someone. ("What would my family say if they read this?") ( Not in my fiction writing, but )
I allow people to critique my work before it is ready to be critiqued.( I think my writing is critique-able at anytime )When someone criticizes my work, I feel like they're criticizing me.( Only for the first couple of minutes, then )I am jealous of successful writers, or I'm easily angered by their success.( I've had a chance to work on this lately. )I secretly want my writing peers to fail so I won't be left behind.( I never wish bad luck on people. )- I'm reluctant to set and announce my writing goals for fear that I won't attain them
or that I will be ridiculed.( Yes. Yes. YES, to the former. No, to the latter. ) When I tell people I'm a writer, I feel special.( While this is partly true, )I use this "writer" identity to feel better about myself, so my self-worth relied on me maintaining it. I can't fail in any way as a writer.( I think I have the opposite problem. )- I'm filled with big writing dreams and goals, but I just can't get started or follow through. ( Hell, yeah )
I give up at the first hint of rejection.( Rejection is just another word for criticism )I make excuses for my work before I show it or read it out loud. ("This is just a draft; I'm not finished with this scene yet.")( I wouldn't use the word excuse )I'm embarrassed to send my work out to have others read it.( Never. I mean that. )- I don't really know what I want from my writing career.
("Why bother?")( I know, another two-part answer. ) - I here my self saying "yes, but" when talking to other writers about opportunities. ( Maybe. )
I feel like I have no control over my time and how I spend it;writing is always pushed to the wayside. ( No… and yes. )I really don't see that I have many choices in life to do what I want to do.( Not true )
So that's only one definite "yes", but two qualified "yeses" and three "I need to think about it's". The book doesn't really give any good advice for solving the problem, outside of "think of successes" and "only get positive feedback". I'm not sure that is exactly my problem, though. I think a lack of time management skills, problematic prioritizing and bad procrastinating habits are my problem. The book doesn't give me any helpful advice on those problems, either.
Conclusion: I need to think about this more. Not much of a conclusion, really. Perhaps I should think of it as a writing goal, only I think I've concluded that I'm not very good at that.
