Meme Lemming: The Ultimate LiveJournal Obsession Test

Gakked from goddess_loki

The Ultimate LiveJournal Obsession Test
Category	Your Score	Average LJer
Community Attachment	18.28% You've got pals to cheer you up when you're down, but no audience to applaud you... Yet.	22.85%
MemeSheepage	26.32% Easily amused	27.73%
Original Content	54.84% Using LiveJournal to express a few strong opinions	38.09%
Psychodrama Quotient	0% The Mister Rogers of LiveJournal	16.68%
Attention Whoring	6.82% Low-key and lovin' it	20.7%
Take The Ultimate LiveJournal Obsession Test and see how you match up! (By The Ferrett)

Yeah, that's about right. The one thing it tells me is that I need to post more original material.

ETA: I really think I need a "Mr. Rogers of LJ" icon, because 0% Psychodrama Quotient. I rock! (I just don't drama.)

Searching for Meaning

A comment from donnickcottage on my last writing post got me to thinking...

Writing for the love of writing is the way to do it. People talk about how writing "flows" and how wonderful it is, how they "love" writing.

I don't know if I can say that I love writing. I know I can say that I don't not love writing.

This is me searching to understand.

I know that I think about writing. I sit at my computer and I plot and plan and think about writing. I love to read writing books. I enjoy being part of my critique group. I absolutely adore it when I finally get the words down.

Characters, plots, dialog, scenes -- they all float around in my head. I just have problems with the translation to paper. My fingers don't seem to have the same desire as my mind. Or maybe my mind can't string the words together in order to share my ideas with others.

It isn't about recognition, exactly. I've written a piece that has been widely read (in it's fandom) and has even won an award. That was amazing, but what's most amazing is that it's a story. Something I created and holds my ideas and thoughts and beliefs and concepts. It's a story, a part of me -- complete and on paper.

Maybe that's what I'm looking for: "completion". When it comes to writing, I'm flighty; I drift from one thing to another. I'm easily distracted; I never finish anything, not to the level the idea deserves.

There's a line from one of my favorite songs Breathe (2 AM) by Anna Nalick. It goes: I'm still awake writing a song If i get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me threaten' the life it belongs to. My compulsion to write it down on paper isn't that strong -- I wish it were. I wish I had that "drive" to write, a compulsion that allows me to push everything else aside and write. It would be easier. It would allow me to do what I need to do.

Right now, I feel "incomplete" and I don't know what to do about it.