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My life is always at odds with everyone else's.
Not in the argumentative, competitive way. But in the way that when everyone else is down, I'm up. And when everyone is up, I'm down. Now while that may seem to be the best way to be... you know, you can trade off the up and downs in order to strike a nice balance, it never seems to work out that way. I never seem to be able to time things right. Everything I'd like to do tends to end up on the same weekend. Or when I want to talk, everyone is busy. I never finish things at the right time, my endings always end up being lost in a whole slew of ends that are a lot more interesting than mine. When I'm in the mood to stay in, everyone else is heading out. And I really don't wear morose very well. I don't communicate well at the best of times.
Still, it's not only that. I always go at things from the wrong angle, too. If there are two ways to go, I inevitably am the only one to choose right, the rest always take left. If there are two ways to do something, I'm the only one who does it my way. Just try to solve a puzzle with me once. Or write a story. Or even clean the house.
Robert Frost wrote that he took the road less traveled by and that he liked his choice. I don't ever intend taking that road but it's always the one I end up on. It's a damn hard road, really and he never mentions that there's no one to talk to.
Still, the scenery is beautiful because it hasn't been trampled by all the people who think normally.
Not in the argumentative, competitive way. But in the way that when everyone else is down, I'm up. And when everyone is up, I'm down. Now while that may seem to be the best way to be... you know, you can trade off the up and downs in order to strike a nice balance, it never seems to work out that way. I never seem to be able to time things right. Everything I'd like to do tends to end up on the same weekend. Or when I want to talk, everyone is busy. I never finish things at the right time, my endings always end up being lost in a whole slew of ends that are a lot more interesting than mine. When I'm in the mood to stay in, everyone else is heading out. And I really don't wear morose very well. I don't communicate well at the best of times.
Still, it's not only that. I always go at things from the wrong angle, too. If there are two ways to go, I inevitably am the only one to choose right, the rest always take left. If there are two ways to do something, I'm the only one who does it my way. Just try to solve a puzzle with me once. Or write a story. Or even clean the house.
Robert Frost wrote that he took the road less traveled by and that he liked his choice. I don't ever intend taking that road but it's always the one I end up on. It's a damn hard road, really and he never mentions that there's no one to talk to.
Still, the scenery is beautiful because it hasn't been trampled by all the people who think normally.
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Date: 2003-08-17 10:52 pm (UTC)From:Y'know, you're worth going out of one's way to see/visit/talk to, though. Even if some of us can't do it as often as we'd like to. And the scenery is always stunning when I visit you.
no subject
Date: 2003-08-18 07:56 am (UTC)From:I'm always here and happy to talk love; and while I'm sure that's of little comfort, at least you can't say you're totally alone:p
I take his road deliberately most days, I enjoy seeing the trees and not just the forest and though it seems a harder walk, the truth for me is that I make life complicated no matter what direction I go; it's not the choices, but how I choose to deal with those choices, accepting or rejecting according to my current mood.
Wish I could be there to offer some simpy platitude about how it's all gonna be alright. At least then you'd have someone to yell at:)
Like,
Ron