partly

So. I've finished this honkin' long fanfic. I should be starting on my original story, right? The one that I have to have a submission for my writer's group in less than two weeks.

But I'm not. No. Because I'm still not quite done editing.

In fact, it's pretty darn good. I've had a most wonderful beta who has read the damn thing through TWICE and has helped me more than I can possibly acknowledge.

It's good enough to post, and I would be willing to have it represent my writing skill even outside the world of fanfic.

Problem is, I keep looking at it as a "how good can I make it" exercise. I've got it out to a couple of people who's opinions I really value and while I was waiting for their comments, I thought I'd give it one last "go through".

Being a terrible proofreader, I decided that I would use a wonderful feature the Mac MSWord has that will read whatever the text is. It doesn't have any inflection and that makes it easy to pick up mistakes like 'through' instead of 'though' and a missing a in "He opened window".

So, I'm doing all that. Then wonderful

finabair pointed out that I had one paragraph in which every sentence began with the word "he". So I edited that sentence. It bugged me though, and now I'm going through the entire fic, looking for clusters of sentences that begin with 'he'.

That's it though. I'm not going to edit it any more.

Really. I swear.

In fact, I'm posting this puppy by Saturday even if I don't hear back from my other betas. I mean, the stories good, I should just go with it. Besides, I need a deadline if only because if I don't have a deadline, I'll never post it.

Odd thing about posting. I like the story, it's good. Not sure if anyone will like it really. It doesn't really matter because I didn't really write to share. Which I'm just realizing now. I obviously like the story, or I wouldn't play with it.

But I tend to like so many things that no one else has an interest in. I can handle being a fan of someone else's work all by myself. Not sure I can handle being my own only fan.

In all honesty, I would be happy to just finish the piece and keep it on my hard drive. For me, it's better to be lonely all by myself than lonely in a crowd.

*sigh*

Once again I demonstrate why I should never philosophize in my LJ