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In my daughter's Confirmation class tonight (for which my mom and I are group leaders) we were given this bit to think over:
If Jesus came today, he wouldn't be crucified. Instead, people would invite him to dinner and mock him after he leaves.
What I love about that is that it's dead on right.
Today, in the US, you don't have to worry about getting killed for your beliefs. No. Today you are ridiculed, mocked and isolated for your beliefs. A direct physical attack would not only be easier to defend against, but it would be easier to see coming.
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad no one is waiting with a pit and a pile of stones to kill me for my beliefs, but standing up to the cruelty that people do while smiling and saying 'Just kidding' doesn't take any less courage than facing a mob.
The Bible is full of statements about people who face death for their beliefs, but that likelihood is so rare in our nation that it is almost meaningless. People tend to bandy about declarations of "I will die for X, Y, or Z" without any real concept of what that would really be like. But ask someone if they are willing to stand up for what they believe if they know that after they did so they would be fodder for metaquotes or some fandomwank-type place. When they know that then next day everyone will be standing around the water-cooler mocking that which they don't believe or care to respect.
Ask middle schooler how much courage it takes just to stand up for something they know is right -- and I'm not limiting this to religious beliefs here, I'm talking simple decency. Even those kids who agree with you won't stand by you -- perhaps out of self-defense, perhaps out of guilt for not having the courage to do the right thing themselves. Maybe because they've never seen an adult take a stand.
Our world kills with small cuts and smile. It seeks to belittle and marginalize anything that conflicts with the idea "everyone does it".
I always ask the kids: You know why, when someone is planning on doing something wrong, they try to get others to do it with them? Because then they can pretend it's really not wrong. If you get ten people to do this evil thing and only one stands against... well, obviously the one who stands against it has something wrong with them, right?
Yeah, it's peer pressure -- but I don't like that term because it's too limiting. Peer pressure brings to mind images of kids and school and things done by "the majority" of kids. It's done to push physical acts -- smoking, stealing, vandalism. It somehow doesn't fit when we're dealing with ideas and beliefs.
I am in awe of the Amish in my community. People who walk around every day, quietly stating who they are and what they believe by their very dress. Most people hide what they believe. Not because they believe in something evil or harmful, but because our society treats belief, devotion and integrity as lies and tricks. Faith is ridiculed as a whitewash that hypocrites paint on their lives in order to feel superior. If anyone disagrees, well, just more grist for the mocking-mill.
I tell the girls in my group that it's hard to walk the faith at the age that they are. Middle School is rough. I tell them to be strong and do the best they can, find ways to do the right thing, even if they lack the courage to do it openly.
I don't have the heart to tell them it doesn't get any easier once they "grow up". Living a life of faith and integrity makes you a target for those who want to prove that everyone has clay feet. It doesn't matter what your age is, it's always easier to shut up and go along than to speak up and make yourself a target.
Still, it's worth the try. Worth the effort to show these girls that faith can be life. For all the things that I could be mocked for in this world, at least if I'm mocked for my faith, it's actually something important.
If Jesus came today, he wouldn't be crucified. Instead, people would invite him to dinner and mock him after he leaves.
What I love about that is that it's dead on right.
Today, in the US, you don't have to worry about getting killed for your beliefs. No. Today you are ridiculed, mocked and isolated for your beliefs. A direct physical attack would not only be easier to defend against, but it would be easier to see coming.
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad no one is waiting with a pit and a pile of stones to kill me for my beliefs, but standing up to the cruelty that people do while smiling and saying 'Just kidding' doesn't take any less courage than facing a mob.
The Bible is full of statements about people who face death for their beliefs, but that likelihood is so rare in our nation that it is almost meaningless. People tend to bandy about declarations of "I will die for X, Y, or Z" without any real concept of what that would really be like. But ask someone if they are willing to stand up for what they believe if they know that after they did so they would be fodder for metaquotes or some fandomwank-type place. When they know that then next day everyone will be standing around the water-cooler mocking that which they don't believe or care to respect.
Ask middle schooler how much courage it takes just to stand up for something they know is right -- and I'm not limiting this to religious beliefs here, I'm talking simple decency. Even those kids who agree with you won't stand by you -- perhaps out of self-defense, perhaps out of guilt for not having the courage to do the right thing themselves. Maybe because they've never seen an adult take a stand.
Our world kills with small cuts and smile. It seeks to belittle and marginalize anything that conflicts with the idea "everyone does it".
I always ask the kids: You know why, when someone is planning on doing something wrong, they try to get others to do it with them? Because then they can pretend it's really not wrong. If you get ten people to do this evil thing and only one stands against... well, obviously the one who stands against it has something wrong with them, right?
Yeah, it's peer pressure -- but I don't like that term because it's too limiting. Peer pressure brings to mind images of kids and school and things done by "the majority" of kids. It's done to push physical acts -- smoking, stealing, vandalism. It somehow doesn't fit when we're dealing with ideas and beliefs.
I am in awe of the Amish in my community. People who walk around every day, quietly stating who they are and what they believe by their very dress. Most people hide what they believe. Not because they believe in something evil or harmful, but because our society treats belief, devotion and integrity as lies and tricks. Faith is ridiculed as a whitewash that hypocrites paint on their lives in order to feel superior. If anyone disagrees, well, just more grist for the mocking-mill.
I tell the girls in my group that it's hard to walk the faith at the age that they are. Middle School is rough. I tell them to be strong and do the best they can, find ways to do the right thing, even if they lack the courage to do it openly.
I don't have the heart to tell them it doesn't get any easier once they "grow up". Living a life of faith and integrity makes you a target for those who want to prove that everyone has clay feet. It doesn't matter what your age is, it's always easier to shut up and go along than to speak up and make yourself a target.
Still, it's worth the try. Worth the effort to show these girls that faith can be life. For all the things that I could be mocked for in this world, at least if I'm mocked for my faith, it's actually something important.
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no subject
Date: 2006-01-12 05:36 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2006-01-16 12:39 am (UTC)From:integrity
Date: 2006-01-12 01:44 pm (UTC)From:Trust me: you get mocked for having beliefs, I get belittled for not having any. And, yes, people have tried peer pressuring me into *becoming* religious.
And if you *really* want peer pressure as an adult, try being a non-drinker.
Of course, there are times when I just shut up about things; those people don't matter to me and aren't worth me wasting my breathe over; you have to pick your battles in life and why should I argue about my beliefs to someone who will mock them no matter what my stand is if it is different than theirs? I can't make them learn tolerance and punching them in the face isn't much of an argument.
Just remember the motto of Earlham College (which is a Quaker college): Tolerance and Diversity.
Re: integrity
Date: 2006-01-16 12:43 am (UTC)From:Plus the fact that when your talking to me about my integrity, it's the same as talking about my faith. I just use the words that are the least likely to annoy those I'm talking to. *grin* You know me. I may love to argue, but I'll never demand that people think the way I do and I'm more than willing to discuss topics on whatever terms they choose... as long as those terms are clearly defined.
It has always amazed me, in all the time I've known you, how often people feel that they have to tell you how to live your life. I'm lucky, people don't generally do that sort of thing to my face. I tend to get dragged into the discussion only when I feel the need to point out that someone is being stupid -- as in the case of the article on Dawkins.
You were foremost in my thoughts when I was writing this because I know that you are often faced with the same problem when sticking with how you live your life. However, I couldn't find a neat way of including it without dragging in a whole lot of other stuff. But it certainly fits the topic of "people who get mocked because of their beliefs".
My main goal with these girls is to show them that it is possible to be Christian and still be reasoned and intelligent and thoughtful. To make them actually think about what it is they believe -- if anything. Whatever conclusion they come to, I want to know that the importance of coming to those conclusion with thought and consideration.
Perhaps "faith" is an unnecessarily heavy partner to attach to "integrity", but for me they are one in the same. As you well know, that doesn't mean that I believe that you can only have integrity if you have faith, any more than you have to have faith to be a "good person". However, I find that with Myr getting older, I am more likely to stress that, for me, faith needs to be part of the discussion because it is an important part of me. It may be more work for me to get my point across, but I feel it's worth it.