partly

In a fit of complete insanity, I signed up for

yuletide. You get to request someone to write you a piece of fiction in a fandom that isn't popular and, in return, you get to write something for someone else. I put in my little requests and felt competent and part of the group. I mean, it sounds like fun, right?

Yeah. I should have remembered that I'm not like the other kids.

This was painfully obvious when I got my assignment. It took until the final request until I hit a fandom I had offered to write in. Which would be fine, if only that request wouldn't have been for slash. Of course, it shouldn't have surprised me because the first three requests were also slash/adult requests. *groan*

I don't do slash. I don't see it, I don't like it. For that matter, I don't do "adult" fic, either, so don't get to thinking that it's just same-sex porn that I find boring.

I have never read any "adult" fic -- professionally written non-fanfic included -- that I found worthy of ever reading a second time. Or actually reading completely and avidly even once.

If its your thing, fine. To me, it's massive, MEH. And that implies more actual emotion than I associate with the fic.

So how do I write this fic? How can I give this person the yuletide gift that they are requesting when:

1) I so completely do not see a relationship between the two men she wants to have in the fic and

2) even if I could envision some divergent parallel universe where these two people could possibly have some sort of encounter, there ain't no way in hell I'm going to write it.

Yeah, I'm overreacting I'm sure. I may come up with something that will fit the request that still will be something I would write. I think I'll go dark. Dark can work. I'll think of it as a writing exercise. An experiment in expanding my writing repertoire. Even if I don't have a desire to expand in that direction. It might work.

Just sometimes, it's so very obvious that I'm just not one of the usual kids.

Even online, in the world of fandom where outcasts and rebels are supposed to fit right in, I'm still an outsider.