partly

There's the theory of infinite dimensions -- where there is every possible future from every possible divergence point. I like that theory. It ties into my favorite theory of time travel where, when you travel back in time you really are shifting between the dimensions and will return to a different present.

Usually, when the infinite dimensions theory is explored, there is a noticeable change between dimensions -- Sliders was good at that. Red meant go and green meant stop. Women controlled society. The US lost the Revolutionary war. Those are the points that alternative histories are based on. Fun exercises in "What if?".

The thing about infinite dimensions, though, is that the differences are both massive and minute. The dimensions that are near to one another may not be noticeably different. Perhaps you could slide from your dimension into another one without even perceiving a difference. How much difference would've it made to the dimension if I would have driven to work today instead of walking or if I'd eaten the grapefruit that sat on my desk instead of throwing it away?

Still, there would be some difference, some disconnect that comes from living in a new world, in one that you didn't help create. A dissidence when you talk to people, perhaps more noticeable when dealing with those closest to you. A small layer of detachment or cushion of unreality that surrounds your actions.

I'm living, lately, in that dimensional shift.

It's not to the point where I'm going left when everyone else is going right. It's not that I say up and everyone else is yelling down. It's more like I'm a degree off plumb. I'm a heartbeat ahead or behind. It's like I'm not passionate enough or I'm too passionate about things others don't care about. Everyone else is onto something different (or not quite ready for it) while I'm all wrapped up in whatever "it" is. My thoughts are always too slow or too incomplete. People are willing to take part until I have something to share, then, everyone is off one something new, and I'm racing to catch up (or stopping to go back).

There's that weird dimensional separation that doesn't allow a true connection. It always sounds good, but I never quite measure up. There's nothing wrong, but it's not right, either.

Since I have no idea how I got here, I've got no idea how to shift back.