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I'm not qualified to answer this question. I've never had a serious break up. In fact, I've only had one serious relationship in my life - and I'm still married to him. It'll be 21 years in October.
I met Wil when I was 23, so I had a life of my own and I know what it is to be by myself. I had plenty of time to have as many relationships as I wanted. I just didn't have one. I was both happy and content with my life. I didn't sit around thinking "Something is missing" -- or at least not very often. And never to the point of it being a "need". You could say that I'm very guarded in my dealings with people. And not very trusting. I'll be your friend and I'm a good friend. But it takes a while. I'm very private and I don't open myself to very many people. And a serious relationship -- one that would hurt if we broke up -- requires that kind of sharing. I'm not built that way.
More than that, there's a difference between being alone and being lonely. I was often alone; I was rarely lonely. I also realize this sets me apart for a lot of people. And it really pushes me into the "not a girl" category that I often reside in. Perhaps it's because I'm too damn stubborn. I am who I am, after all. Despite my feelings of being frayed and panicked and my recent posts of moroseness, I'm secure in who I am. I will sacrifice for those I love. I will put the needs of my family above my own wants. But I would always rather be me and be alone, than be a shadow of me in order to be with someone else.
I know this isn't what the question was asking, but I always find it interesting when people say, "Well, we've all been there." Because I haven't. I understand the pain of losing someone you love. I know grief and abandonment. I understand feelings of inadequacy and feeling undesirable and unloved. I've been there. But the whole break up thing? I've never been there.
I'm not qualified to answer this question. I've never had a serious break up. In fact, I've only had one serious relationship in my life - and I'm still married to him. It'll be 21 years in October.
I met Wil when I was 23, so I had a life of my own and I know what it is to be by myself. I had plenty of time to have as many relationships as I wanted. I just didn't have one. I was both happy and content with my life. I didn't sit around thinking "Something is missing" -- or at least not very often. And never to the point of it being a "need". You could say that I'm very guarded in my dealings with people. And not very trusting. I'll be your friend and I'm a good friend. But it takes a while. I'm very private and I don't open myself to very many people. And a serious relationship -- one that would hurt if we broke up -- requires that kind of sharing. I'm not built that way.
More than that, there's a difference between being alone and being lonely. I was often alone; I was rarely lonely. I also realize this sets me apart for a lot of people. And it really pushes me into the "not a girl" category that I often reside in. Perhaps it's because I'm too damn stubborn. I am who I am, after all. Despite my feelings of being frayed and panicked and my recent posts of moroseness, I'm secure in who I am. I will sacrifice for those I love. I will put the needs of my family above my own wants. But I would always rather be me and be alone, than be a shadow of me in order to be with someone else.
I know this isn't what the question was asking, but I always find it interesting when people say, "Well, we've all been there." Because I haven't. I understand the pain of losing someone you love. I know grief and abandonment. I understand feelings of inadequacy and feeling undesirable and unloved. I've been there. But the whole break up thing? I've never been there.
