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There are times in this world when being competent sucks. Don't get me wrong, strength and the ability to deal with life is never a bad thing. It's just, occasionally, being competent makes the world just a little less... sympathetic. When things go wrong and you are all "I can handle this" people tend not to notice how bad things really are. Or even how much you would really like (or need) help. My daughter is learning this.
Today she was at school, before play practice and band drills and she was helping put stuff away. She tripped and fell onto the cart that was in the way. She hurt her knee -- thought she skinned it -- but it didn't hurt too badly, so she went on with play practice. Then she noticed the blood on her leg and thought, perhaps, she'd hurt herself more than she thought. Upon closer inspection -- through the cut in the pant leg -- she saw that her knee was really very bloody and thought she should get a Band-Aid. She went down to the gym (to grab shorts to change into) and asked the gym teacher for a bandage. The teacher glanced at the bleeding knee, said "You better clean that up first" and handed her some bandages.
So Myr did. Only the more she cleaned it up, the worse it looked. Band-Aids weren't working so she covered it with gauze and limped back upstairs. Where no one really cared that she'd been gone or that she'd changed into shorts or that she had a large gauze bandage on her knee. She made a couple off hand comments about hurting herself and that she was concerned that she really hurt herself, but no one really paid any attention. So, feeling a little neglected and a little concerned, she decided to drive home and ask me about it.
She walked in, limping only a little, telling me that no one cared that she was injured. So, being a good mom, I thought I'd look at the knee and be suitably sympathetic. I took one look at the knee and decided that she needed stitches more than sympathy.
An hour and five stitches later we left the ER. She has strict orders not to do any running or knee bending. The stitches stay in for 14 days (the cut is right on the kneecap) and even after that she needs to be careful because wounds there, they don't heal quickly. Rest, she was told. Take it easy, they said.
So, of course, she went to band practice at six. The band has competitions this weekend and next. She had to talk to the director; she wanted to explain what had happened. She said she wasn't going to stay for the marching, but since she not home yet, I'd say she did. In fact, I'd be very surprised if she wasn’t actually marching right now.
That's who she is.
And I understand why no one at the school was concerned. She wasn't crying. She wasn't unable to walk. She wasn't bleeding badly. She didn't want to show anyone because some of her friends are squeamish and she didn't want to gross them out. The teacher didn't look at it after it was cleaned up (if she did, she would have acted differently, I'm sure). But when she talked to the teacher Myr -- quite honestly -- told her that it didn't hurt too badly, that she could walk just fine and that she didn't think it was that bad. Her first instinct was to downplay it.
I understand this, because this is what I would do. Only that doesn't earn you a lot of sympathy. Or a lot of help. Even at the ER the nurses and doctor were than a little surprised at the extent of the damage -- once they looked at it. She just didn't present as someone who was really hurt. I, being her mom, could tell. She was talking just a little more quickly. She had that slight jitter when she moved. Her eyes were just a little too bright. The poor kid is going to be in pain tomorrow.
She'll tough it through, though. She'll go to school tomorrow (Art day, so it's all drawing and listening to music, little running around). She'll tell people that it doesn't hurt that bad. She'll do everything she needs to do. Play practice after school. She'll laugh about being a klutz. She'll brag about getting five stitches and having a scar. She’ll do marching band – overnight and all.
She'll be great. She won't get a lot of sympathy.
**Important note** This isn't a cry for sympathy, nor a complaint that people don't care, or saying that Myr needs or wants more. Just pointing out that sometimes, being able to handle things by yourself, means that you end up handling things by yourself.
TMI pictures (before stitches) are here and here.
Today she was at school, before play practice and band drills and she was helping put stuff away. She tripped and fell onto the cart that was in the way. She hurt her knee -- thought she skinned it -- but it didn't hurt too badly, so she went on with play practice. Then she noticed the blood on her leg and thought, perhaps, she'd hurt herself more than she thought. Upon closer inspection -- through the cut in the pant leg -- she saw that her knee was really very bloody and thought she should get a Band-Aid. She went down to the gym (to grab shorts to change into) and asked the gym teacher for a bandage. The teacher glanced at the bleeding knee, said "You better clean that up first" and handed her some bandages.
So Myr did. Only the more she cleaned it up, the worse it looked. Band-Aids weren't working so she covered it with gauze and limped back upstairs. Where no one really cared that she'd been gone or that she'd changed into shorts or that she had a large gauze bandage on her knee. She made a couple off hand comments about hurting herself and that she was concerned that she really hurt herself, but no one really paid any attention. So, feeling a little neglected and a little concerned, she decided to drive home and ask me about it.
She walked in, limping only a little, telling me that no one cared that she was injured. So, being a good mom, I thought I'd look at the knee and be suitably sympathetic. I took one look at the knee and decided that she needed stitches more than sympathy.
An hour and five stitches later we left the ER. She has strict orders not to do any running or knee bending. The stitches stay in for 14 days (the cut is right on the kneecap) and even after that she needs to be careful because wounds there, they don't heal quickly. Rest, she was told. Take it easy, they said.
So, of course, she went to band practice at six. The band has competitions this weekend and next. She had to talk to the director; she wanted to explain what had happened. She said she wasn't going to stay for the marching, but since she not home yet, I'd say she did. In fact, I'd be very surprised if she wasn’t actually marching right now.
That's who she is.
And I understand why no one at the school was concerned. She wasn't crying. She wasn't unable to walk. She wasn't bleeding badly. She didn't want to show anyone because some of her friends are squeamish and she didn't want to gross them out. The teacher didn't look at it after it was cleaned up (if she did, she would have acted differently, I'm sure). But when she talked to the teacher Myr -- quite honestly -- told her that it didn't hurt too badly, that she could walk just fine and that she didn't think it was that bad. Her first instinct was to downplay it.
I understand this, because this is what I would do. Only that doesn't earn you a lot of sympathy. Or a lot of help. Even at the ER the nurses and doctor were than a little surprised at the extent of the damage -- once they looked at it. She just didn't present as someone who was really hurt. I, being her mom, could tell. She was talking just a little more quickly. She had that slight jitter when she moved. Her eyes were just a little too bright. The poor kid is going to be in pain tomorrow.
She'll tough it through, though. She'll go to school tomorrow (Art day, so it's all drawing and listening to music, little running around). She'll tell people that it doesn't hurt that bad. She'll do everything she needs to do. Play practice after school. She'll laugh about being a klutz. She'll brag about getting five stitches and having a scar. She’ll do marching band – overnight and all.
She'll be great. She won't get a lot of sympathy.
**Important note** This isn't a cry for sympathy, nor a complaint that people don't care, or saying that Myr needs or wants more. Just pointing out that sometimes, being able to handle things by yourself, means that you end up handling things by yourself.
TMI pictures (before stitches) are here and here.
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Date: 2010-10-05 07:20 am (UTC)From:Your girl is a strong one!