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I have many thoughts (thinky meta-type thoughts) on this season of SPN, but I thought I'd better write up my opinion on what's up with Sam before the show comes along and gives it's explanation. I'm prepared to be invalidated, but the show hasn't disappointed me even when it doesn't do what I want it to. Need I warn you that this is long?
First of all let me state that I really, really want Sam to be Sam. I don't want him to be possessed, or cursed or forced to be a certain way against his will, I don't want him to be still down in hell and this is a shade of some sort or another. I want this (whatever this is) to be a result of his own free will. I want this is the Sam that he is choosing to be. Mostly I want this because I want them to use this season to actually let Sam deal with all the crap that has been thrown his way. And I mean really deal with it, not just bury him under coping mechanisms that will let him make it through the day to get whatever job done that needs to be done.
Looking back at the series, Sam has never really dealt with anything. He copes with Jessica's death by heading off hunting with Dean, trying to track down the demon that killed her. He copes with the dangerous life of being a hunter by avoiding contact with his old life and refusing to form new attachments. He copes with Dean's death at the Tricker/Gabriel's hand by hunting him down and killing him. He copes with Dean's being sent to hell by making an alliance with Ruby in order to become even more of a lethal hunter. He copes with the impending apocalypse by doing whatever he had (demon blood) in order to kill the Lilith and stop the apocalypse.
Once Lucifer is loosed, there's no time for even coping, really. Crap is piled on crap and most all of it is piled on Sam. Most of the universe -- Demons, Angels, Hunters -- all believe that he is evil, the cause of everything. Even Dean loses faith in him, albeit only temporarily. Then Sam finds out that demons have been shadowing him his entire life. People he believed to be friends were possessed -- used by the demons to mold him into the perfect vessel for Lucifer.
You got to think, at some point, Sam would start to doubt everything about who he was and how many choices in his life were, at least partially, shaped by those demonic forces. But then, he doesn't have any time to think about these things. He goes from one end-of-the-world crisis to the next end-of-the-world-crisis to the next end-of-the-world-crisis. It's a constant in Sam's life since Jessica died: Keep going, don't stop, not time to pause, no time to deal, no time to think.
Until, I suspect, he was in Hell.
The only thing we can possibly know about Sam's time in Hell is that it was nothing like Dean's. Why would it be? Their Heavens were nothing the same, why would their Hells be? Dean broke when he was in Hell because he agreed to become a monster. He's wracked with guilt because while he was in hell he tortured other souls. But Sam... Sam is so far beyond that. He waded hip-deep in monster when he was drinking demon blood. Because of Sam innocent people here on Earth were tortured, possessed and killed. Because of Sam and his love for Jessica, she was killed. This isn't just a fear that Sam has, some misplaced survivor's guilt. No. This is actual fact.
So really, what horrors does Hell have for Sam that life hasn't already handed to him? Hell didn't have to provide extra torture or torment, it just had to give Sam time to think about how many times his existence hurt other people. All the times his caring for someone put those people in danger. Hell didn't need to break Sam, he was broken long before he got down there.
As to what's happening with Sam right now? I think when Sam came back from Hell, he made a conscious choice to relinquish his emotions. He always coped before by subverting his emotions and moving forward. It's a Winchester thing after all: Channel all that emotion (pain, loss, love, hate, desire) into something useful, like hunting. But Sam isn't merely subverting, he's not merely numb from emotional overload -- he's given it all up. And I want it to have been his choice, made of his own free will. He did it in order to be free from all that emotional baggage and emotional bonds that caused him (and others) pain.
When you watch Sam this season there is always the moment of pause before he reacts emotionally. A delay before he expresses himself. He's always a beat behind. It's what feels "off" about him. It's why it doesn't seem quite right even when he does express the "correct" emotional response. That's because he has to think about it. It's why he seems less concerned about civilians. It's why he called Dean to help deal with the baby. It's why he could let Dean get turned. It's why he doesn't care about Dean's relationship with Lisa and Ben. It's why he was unconcerned about Castiel's torture of the boy. Sam's not evil, he just doesn't care.
But yet he's not totally amoral. He knew that Dean could be cured. He did save the baby. He didn't leave Dean to the Djinn. Sam is still fighting for a greater good. The problem is he doesn't have any emotional connection to that greater good.
I think that's part of what the show is doing this year. Last season was all about Free Will and how it's vital to being human. This year I think it's going to be about passion and empathy and emotional relationships. You have Dean who is struggling to forge new emotional connections outside of his small group and who obviously still wears his heart on his sleeve most time. You have Castiel who says to Dean "I can't care about that" even though he obviously does. And now you have Sam who really doesn't care. It's a trifecta. This is how themes are explored in narratives. And if this is what the writers are doing, I will love them forever.
Don't get me wrong, I don't want Sam to stay this way. I don't like Sam this way. But after everything that happened, he can't be Sam he used to be. He shouldn't be. He couldn't be. And I love that the writers are addressing this. I don't want some deus ex machina waving a magic wand and *presto* Sam is miraculously cured of all his brokenness, set back to the way he was in the beginning. At the very least it's poor writing. At it's worst, it invalidates everything that's happened before. No. I want Sam to deal with his brokenness. I want him to look at his life of pain and passion and fold it into who he is. To acknowledge the emotional/psychological toll that he's paid and how, despite that brokenness, he can still be a functional human being. How acknowledging and addressing that emotion is necessary to being a functional human being.
I realize this is a lot to ask from a television show. But I'll be happy if they just address a part of it. If it's the background theme to the overall story arc and MOTW that appears, like Free Will was last season. I'm usually happier when a show doesn't explain it all because I'd rather fill in the missing bits than have to deal with something that I feel doesn't work. So far the show hasn't let me down.
First of all let me state that I really, really want Sam to be Sam. I don't want him to be possessed, or cursed or forced to be a certain way against his will, I don't want him to be still down in hell and this is a shade of some sort or another. I want this (whatever this is) to be a result of his own free will. I want this is the Sam that he is choosing to be. Mostly I want this because I want them to use this season to actually let Sam deal with all the crap that has been thrown his way. And I mean really deal with it, not just bury him under coping mechanisms that will let him make it through the day to get whatever job done that needs to be done.
Looking back at the series, Sam has never really dealt with anything. He copes with Jessica's death by heading off hunting with Dean, trying to track down the demon that killed her. He copes with the dangerous life of being a hunter by avoiding contact with his old life and refusing to form new attachments. He copes with Dean's death at the Tricker/Gabriel's hand by hunting him down and killing him. He copes with Dean's being sent to hell by making an alliance with Ruby in order to become even more of a lethal hunter. He copes with the impending apocalypse by doing whatever he had (demon blood) in order to kill the Lilith and stop the apocalypse.
Once Lucifer is loosed, there's no time for even coping, really. Crap is piled on crap and most all of it is piled on Sam. Most of the universe -- Demons, Angels, Hunters -- all believe that he is evil, the cause of everything. Even Dean loses faith in him, albeit only temporarily. Then Sam finds out that demons have been shadowing him his entire life. People he believed to be friends were possessed -- used by the demons to mold him into the perfect vessel for Lucifer.
You got to think, at some point, Sam would start to doubt everything about who he was and how many choices in his life were, at least partially, shaped by those demonic forces. But then, he doesn't have any time to think about these things. He goes from one end-of-the-world crisis to the next end-of-the-world-crisis to the next end-of-the-world-crisis. It's a constant in Sam's life since Jessica died: Keep going, don't stop, not time to pause, no time to deal, no time to think.
Until, I suspect, he was in Hell.
The only thing we can possibly know about Sam's time in Hell is that it was nothing like Dean's. Why would it be? Their Heavens were nothing the same, why would their Hells be? Dean broke when he was in Hell because he agreed to become a monster. He's wracked with guilt because while he was in hell he tortured other souls. But Sam... Sam is so far beyond that. He waded hip-deep in monster when he was drinking demon blood. Because of Sam innocent people here on Earth were tortured, possessed and killed. Because of Sam and his love for Jessica, she was killed. This isn't just a fear that Sam has, some misplaced survivor's guilt. No. This is actual fact.
So really, what horrors does Hell have for Sam that life hasn't already handed to him? Hell didn't have to provide extra torture or torment, it just had to give Sam time to think about how many times his existence hurt other people. All the times his caring for someone put those people in danger. Hell didn't need to break Sam, he was broken long before he got down there.
As to what's happening with Sam right now? I think when Sam came back from Hell, he made a conscious choice to relinquish his emotions. He always coped before by subverting his emotions and moving forward. It's a Winchester thing after all: Channel all that emotion (pain, loss, love, hate, desire) into something useful, like hunting. But Sam isn't merely subverting, he's not merely numb from emotional overload -- he's given it all up. And I want it to have been his choice, made of his own free will. He did it in order to be free from all that emotional baggage and emotional bonds that caused him (and others) pain.
When you watch Sam this season there is always the moment of pause before he reacts emotionally. A delay before he expresses himself. He's always a beat behind. It's what feels "off" about him. It's why it doesn't seem quite right even when he does express the "correct" emotional response. That's because he has to think about it. It's why he seems less concerned about civilians. It's why he called Dean to help deal with the baby. It's why he could let Dean get turned. It's why he doesn't care about Dean's relationship with Lisa and Ben. It's why he was unconcerned about Castiel's torture of the boy. Sam's not evil, he just doesn't care.
But yet he's not totally amoral. He knew that Dean could be cured. He did save the baby. He didn't leave Dean to the Djinn. Sam is still fighting for a greater good. The problem is he doesn't have any emotional connection to that greater good.
I think that's part of what the show is doing this year. Last season was all about Free Will and how it's vital to being human. This year I think it's going to be about passion and empathy and emotional relationships. You have Dean who is struggling to forge new emotional connections outside of his small group and who obviously still wears his heart on his sleeve most time. You have Castiel who says to Dean "I can't care about that" even though he obviously does. And now you have Sam who really doesn't care. It's a trifecta. This is how themes are explored in narratives. And if this is what the writers are doing, I will love them forever.
Don't get me wrong, I don't want Sam to stay this way. I don't like Sam this way. But after everything that happened, he can't be Sam he used to be. He shouldn't be. He couldn't be. And I love that the writers are addressing this. I don't want some deus ex machina waving a magic wand and *presto* Sam is miraculously cured of all his brokenness, set back to the way he was in the beginning. At the very least it's poor writing. At it's worst, it invalidates everything that's happened before. No. I want Sam to deal with his brokenness. I want him to look at his life of pain and passion and fold it into who he is. To acknowledge the emotional/psychological toll that he's paid and how, despite that brokenness, he can still be a functional human being. How acknowledging and addressing that emotion is necessary to being a functional human being.
I realize this is a lot to ask from a television show. But I'll be happy if they just address a part of it. If it's the background theme to the overall story arc and MOTW that appears, like Free Will was last season. I'm usually happier when a show doesn't explain it all because I'd rather fill in the missing bits than have to deal with something that I feel doesn't work. So far the show hasn't let me down.
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Interesting!
Date: 2010-10-28 08:07 pm (UTC)From: (Anonymous)Very interesting meta. And it makes sense to me with what Sam's been through. I'll have to look for that "beat behind" you're talking about, but I think you're right; that's part of what's felt so off about Sam this season.
But I'd love to see some of what's going on with him from his POV! And, of course, move towards some healing for the poor boy...
no subject
Date: 2010-10-28 08:11 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-10-28 09:09 pm (UTC)From:Part of me worries though, that if Sam is 100% Sam that viewers will not forgive him for letting Dean get turned.
no subject
Date: 2010-10-28 10:07 pm (UTC)From:I have my own theories on what is going on with him exactly,but I'm fairly certain he isn't entirely himan anymore - he really shouldn't be , considering everything he has gone through.
Emotionally, I think you are spot on. He can't allow himself to react the way he used to, so he has closed down.
I can't wait for tomorrow, when we will hopefully get some answers.
no subject
Date: 2010-10-29 12:04 am (UTC)From:This year I think it's going to be about passion and empathy and emotional relationships.
I'm not sure I think that Sam's not caring is fully intentional, like a conscious decision? But otherwise right on, and great post.
no subject
Date: 2010-10-29 01:51 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-10-29 01:58 am (UTC)From:Then I see a bitchface in 'The Third Man'. When Dean is being turned, it looks like he's fascinated with the process. Then there are all your examples of all his lack of emotion.
I can't wait to see what the twist will be and how many in fandom get it right.
no subject
Date: 2010-10-29 09:07 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-10-29 10:38 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-10-29 03:33 pm (UTC)From:I'll have to post a more coherent response when I have time, but great meta.
no subject
Date: 2010-10-29 03:51 pm (UTC)From:I have to say I am so impressed with Jared's acting- its amazing to watch the first 2 seasons and see the "innocence" in his face, now there is just nothing. If that makes sense?? LOL
no subject
Date: 2010-11-01 06:31 pm (UTC)From: