partly

"It's not your fault"
"You didn't do anything"
"It's not because of you"

Completely useless truths.

It's odd how often the truth is completely useless.

If it were my fault, I could fix it.
If I did do something, I could stop doing it.
If it were because of me, I would be the solution.

Chatting with

amilyn the other day she made the statement that our society tends to make us responsible for the feelings and actions of others. I'm not sure if its society or just being human. If you talk to someone and they become angry or confrontational or despondent, you immediately try to understand what you did that made them that way.

I'm fairly good at interpersonal interaction. I like to think that I can finesse people, make them at ease and help everyone work toward a common goal. I'm good at deflecting conflict and anger. While I'm a person who's very sure of who I am, I usually don't have a problem putting my ego aside for better interaction. I try very hard not to make others feel bad.

I like to fix things -- make them better. I hate being in a conversation that ends badly and having to accept that I had nothing to do with the bad end. Because then, I can't fix it. Worse, while I know the truth ("Its not because of you"), it doesn't stop me from feeling like shit.

I know, in the end, we are each responsible for our own happiness.

It's a truth.

And it completely useless.

NOTE: I'm not nearly as despondent as this makes me sound. It's just been a hard week or two of being cheerful and positive and trying to be supportive and helpful. That's the problem with being a cheerleader, you put all that effort and life-force into a game that you actually have no part in or control over. I'd quit, but I'm much too perky and stubborn to do that. (Yet another useless truth.)