![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
When writing we all know that the current standard is to mark thoughts/interior dialogue with italics (although there are those who say you should underline them).
Anyhow: I have a terrible time determining what is thoughts/interior dialogue and what is just deep third person POV narration. What are your opinions on it? Is there really a hard set rule on what is or is not a "thought"?
EXAMPLE 1:
Walter finally stepped out of the room and Jack closed the door with a disgusted grimace. This was insane. When did it become so hard to intimidate subordinates? No, that wasn't right. They were intimidated but they stood their ground. And so they should when dealing with totally insane orders from a superior officer.
Is everything after 'grimace' considered thoughts? Should it be:
Walter finally stepped out of the room and Jack closed the door with a disgusted grimace. This was insane. When did it become so hard to intimidate subordinates? No, that wasn't right. They were intimidated but they stood their ground. And so they should when dealing with totally insane orders from a superior officer.
That's a lot of italics. Could I go with just parts of it being thoughts.
Walter finally stepped out of the room and Jack closed the door with a disgusted grimace. This was insane. When did it become so hard to intimidate subordinates? No, that wasn't right. They were intimidated but they stood their ground. And so they should when dealing with totally insane orders from a superior officer.
Should I just rewrite the damn thing so I don't have to worry about it? I could change the last two sentences to something else that will, hopefully, not have this problem.
EXAMPLE 2:
Free of surveillance, Jack turned to the dialing computer and punched an address into the computer. His hand hovered over the palm reader for a minute, and then he placed it on the screen. There was no going back now, no time for second thoughts, no other choice. Not that there ever had been, he thought. There never really had been a choice, at all.
Would this work:
Free of surveillance, Jack turned to the dialing computer and punched an address into the computer. His hand hovered over the palm reader for a minute, and then he placed it on the screen. There was no going back now, no time for second thoughts, no other choice. Not that there ever had been. There never really had been a choice, at all.
Or does it need to be:
Free of surveillance, Jack turned to the dialing computer and punched an address into the computer. His hand hovered over the palm reader for a minute, and then he placed it on the screen. There was no going back now, no time for second thoughts, no other choice. Not that there ever had been. There never really had been a choice, at all.
I tend to write fairly deep into the POV characters thoughts. I never can tell what is thought and what is just POV character narration.
And that is driving me nuts.
I'm also beginning to hate italics.
Anyhow: I have a terrible time determining what is thoughts/interior dialogue and what is just deep third person POV narration. What are your opinions on it? Is there really a hard set rule on what is or is not a "thought"?
EXAMPLE 1:
Walter finally stepped out of the room and Jack closed the door with a disgusted grimace. This was insane. When did it become so hard to intimidate subordinates? No, that wasn't right. They were intimidated but they stood their ground. And so they should when dealing with totally insane orders from a superior officer.
Is everything after 'grimace' considered thoughts? Should it be:
Walter finally stepped out of the room and Jack closed the door with a disgusted grimace. This was insane. When did it become so hard to intimidate subordinates? No, that wasn't right. They were intimidated but they stood their ground. And so they should when dealing with totally insane orders from a superior officer.
That's a lot of italics. Could I go with just parts of it being thoughts.
Walter finally stepped out of the room and Jack closed the door with a disgusted grimace. This was insane. When did it become so hard to intimidate subordinates? No, that wasn't right. They were intimidated but they stood their ground. And so they should when dealing with totally insane orders from a superior officer.
Should I just rewrite the damn thing so I don't have to worry about it? I could change the last two sentences to something else that will, hopefully, not have this problem.
EXAMPLE 2:
Free of surveillance, Jack turned to the dialing computer and punched an address into the computer. His hand hovered over the palm reader for a minute, and then he placed it on the screen. There was no going back now, no time for second thoughts, no other choice. Not that there ever had been, he thought. There never really had been a choice, at all.
Would this work:
Free of surveillance, Jack turned to the dialing computer and punched an address into the computer. His hand hovered over the palm reader for a minute, and then he placed it on the screen. There was no going back now, no time for second thoughts, no other choice. Not that there ever had been. There never really had been a choice, at all.
Or does it need to be:
Free of surveillance, Jack turned to the dialing computer and punched an address into the computer. His hand hovered over the palm reader for a minute, and then he placed it on the screen. There was no going back now, no time for second thoughts, no other choice. Not that there ever had been. There never really had been a choice, at all.
I tend to write fairly deep into the POV characters thoughts. I never can tell what is thought and what is just POV character narration.
And that is driving me nuts.
I'm also beginning to hate italics.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 11:01 am (UTC)From:*nods* It's a good idea in general, I think. Pretty much any time you hear people in fandom commenting/being aware of it, they're saying that third person/past tense should be the norm, and they're annoyed by writers veering from it without a good reason.
But not nearly as annoyed as I've seen some people get over sloppy pov!
I was tearing at my hair when I realized "Still Waters" was just not going to flow in any way other than first/present. Every rule has an exception, and from comments I've gotten, I think that piece turned out to be one where the exception applied. But part of me still expects somebody to smack me down for it. :-D
So, for the record, yeah. I think she can go with no italics at all if she keeps it in past tense.
And what occurred to me while I was at lunch -- in the example you were using, "he thought" doesn't really need to be there. It's understood that the thoughts about there being no choice are his thoughts. And I think taking it out might help clear up some of Partly's own confusion.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 11:53 am (UTC)From:Absolutely!
In the past I italicized very little because I always believed that thoughts that were actual thoughts had to be in present tense. But then I did this little writing class thing and everyone there insisted that I was doing it wrong.
*Bah*
I do have points where the characters are having actual thoughts, but that's rare.
Thank you all so much!
no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 12:33 pm (UTC)From:Huh. The only thing I can think is that they were on drugs.
Glad we could help!